The Life and Times of Florence Knitingale

Friday, December 01, 2006

Lost: One Brain, Well-Used

If you are a logical, sane person and you happen to cast on for the front of a sweater on the wrong needles, and if you happen to notice that little error five rows later, chances are you will strike your forehead with the palm of your hand, pull the offending stitches off the needles, curse once or twice, and start over on the right needles. At least, that's what I've heard. I confess to having no real way of knowing.

Logic. Yeah…..we don’t get much call for that ‘round here. Which is probably why I worked another two rows on the front of the noro sweater before acknowledging that a full needle size difference between the front and back of the sweater might, in fact, be noticeable and might not, actually, be passable as a new trend. All of which is to say that my brain is apparently on loan somewhere (woe be the poor sap who has it—just don’t try to make anything, is all I can say--unless you happen to be two inches wider in front than you are in back, in which case my brain should serve you quite well) and I am forced to entertain you with yet another odd assortment of things. First, the back of the noro:Plus a close-up of the stitch pattern:

I am, of course, still putting off the neckline decision for as long as possible.

We received a lovely gift for Gracie in the mail the other day:

There were actually several of them, and they came stuffed with all the parts for a new computer which she has kindly offered to let us use while she enjoys the important stuff.

Not that I find the end of the quarter and all my final exams stressful or anything (one of my delightful teachers has decided to give us a chapter test on Wednesday followed immediately by a comprehensive, final exam. Ask me how much I love that.), but I went to the dentist for a cleaning (or, as I prefer to think of it, an chance for the hygienist to use some of her favorite tools, such as the “pokey thing” and “the gouger”) and discovered that I have been grinding my teeth so hard that I broke a piece of porcelain completely off a crown. Oops. (I keep saying I don’t need to manage my stress…..but you know, I could be wrong about that.) Luckily, the broken crown is on a tooth in the way very back, and the break is on the inside where it couldn’t possibly show. Of course, dentists consider it their sacred duty to inform you of such things….and then advise you solemnly to “try not to mess with it.” I would have answered him, but I had my tongue on the broken spot and it was really hard to talk that way.

I have a truly beautiful 16 year old niece in Kansas (Hi, Joanie!) who is really an unusually smart and charming young lady. I quite enjoy her, so I’ve been thinking that when we visit next I may offer to (bring her over to the dark side) teach her to knit. I’m thinking of bringing her some good needles, some patterns, and something truly yummy like alpaca (the better to completely suck her in with). For the sake of the family budget, I may have to also teach her the ways of yarn recycling….but I’m okay with that. I’m a patient woman. If we need to convert the world to knitters one at a time, I’ll go with that.

I apologize for the short (and at least slightly uninspired) nature of this post. As I said, I suspect that my brain is on loan. If any of you see it, please post it this way. I can assure you, it has quite a few miles on it and, if you’re in the market for a new brain, you’d do better to find a nice new one with some extra features. Automatic stress shutdown, for instance, and better resistance to yarn fumes (or the ability to create money out of thin air. Either one is good.) Trust me on this. The knitter/student/whackjob/abby normal brain—just pass it on by.


  • At 9:24 PM, Anonymous Paula in Iowa said…

    I have long known that my brain wanders off sometimes and leaves my body to just fend for itself. So, I understand. Leave it alone and it will come home, wagging it ... oh, wait, that's something else. Oops!

  • At 5:35 AM, Anonymous angie cox said…

    My brain is living back in N.Z possibly on an old woman's nostalgia trip.One simply hates to boast but I am several inches larger in front Florence !! You have to say some of that is a posh English voice ( think The Queen) ..who sounds like no other human on earth to me ( thank God). Anyhow if you keep making me laugh I'll split something.There is a very famous blog that has masses of visitors and is not a woman's yet yours is funnier and above all warmer and very human .I can't tell you how comforting that is after reading the very popular blog and hating the feeling it always gave me of being a complete tit brain !!!

  • At 6:44 AM, Blogger Marianne said…

    Ilove some of the comments here, Paula in Iowa, too funny...and Angie, you are indeed a dear soul, 'tit brain' you're not, I'm still rolling on that one.

    Florence, I'm sure there are lots of folks walking around needing a few extra inches in the front...Noro just takes my breath away, each and every time, am so looking forward to her being made and on you...will I be able to stand it? survive it?

    Surely, but if not...what a way to go!

  • At 6:47 AM, Blogger Ms. Knitingale said…

    Angie, I can't thank you enough for the "titbrain" comment! That so perfectly describes how I feel sometimes. And your nice comments about my blog couldn't have come at a better time. Rough couple of days--I needed a bit of a lift. So thank you right back.

  • At 2:18 PM, Anonymous angie cox said…

    Nothing said you don't deserve Florence .I do have a mind like a sieve though but I think that is human .

  • At 3:00 PM, Blogger Charity said…

    Don't worry, your brain will return once finals are over, and you don't need it anymore! :0)

    LOVE the sweater progress!


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