The Life and Times of Florence Knitingale

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Rainy Days and Sundays.....

It was my hope that I would have Samus all finished this afternoon, and that I would be posting a lovely photo of myself, tomato-head and all, modeling the completed garment. In my head, I probably imagined some ooohs and aaaaahs as well…..things are much as they always are here at Chez Delusional. But here’s the thing: just because I finished all the knitting, and just because I made use of the time the Seahawks were busily getting themselves smeared all over the football field to join all the parts (it was no hardship—I couldn’t bear to look, honestly), is in no way suggestive of the time needed to complete the item in question. See, it has this attached I-cord edging. And honestly, thinking that I’d whip through it all and be wearing it tonight is not unlike Noah’s wife grabbing her purse as she climbed onto the ark but not bothering with her toiletries because “it’s just a quick spin around the lake, right?” (A three hour tour comes to mind here….but let us not digress into scantily clad women and coconut phones, hmmmm?) I have been knitting on the blasted thing for the last hour and a half and have exactly half of the back neck, down the front of the left neck and a quarter to a third of the left front done. And that’s it.

Notice how I have previously arranged the sweater lovingly and photographed it with exquisite care….whereas this time I have tossed the nasty thing onto the couch and, sighing, grabbed the camera. Patience, thy name is most assuredly not Knitingale. But come on—I can hear that Noro calling, begging, PLEADING with me to make it into something splendid, and here’s Samus plodding along. It’s enough to drive a knitter mad…..even if she wasn’t significantly down that particular trail anyway.

There was a reason for the Noah reference; specifically, that the skies split open once again and dumped water on us all night and all morning. I’m so glad we ran our errands yesterday while it was nice, so we had today to snuggle up, knit, and watch our football team humiliate themselves (odd…they knew how to play last week…..perhaps I should send them a note pointing out that, while the other team doubtless appreciates it when you give them the ball before you have to, 4 turnovers in one game is perhaps more kindness than should be shown. Just saying.). I’m starting to think that Northwesterners will be readily identifiable before too much longer, by the persistently frizzy hair and permanent pruning of the skin. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen some yards where the pink garden flamingos have been replaced by flocks of rubber duckies…..

Eddie thinks the rain is God’s way of telling him to come sit inside and groom compulsively, and it dawned on me that I’ve never given you any perspective as to how darned big he really is. So, here he is with Mr. K:

See what I mean? Huge cat. He’s a sweetheart, too, as you can tell…but I still wouldn’t be completely surprised to find a dead mailman on the porch one day when Monsieur Stripes starts wanting more challenge than mice, snakes, and voles can offer. “Oh, it’s okay, he’s a sweetie, really. Just run fast…and don’t look like a rabbit. He loves rabbits.”

After the game (game? Massacre. General Custer put up a better showing than this.) I was continuing to struggle with that darned edging (not that it doesn’t look nice, and not that it’s even all that hard….but it requires going back and forth every four stitches between two dpns and a crochet hook and, well, if I wanted a hobby juggling I’d invest in clown shoes and a red nose…you know?) and some show came on wherein people were cooking pickled pigs feet. Hm. Have we not progressed far enough in this country that we can avoid eating feet for dinner? Something just seems wrong there. Besides, don’t pigs have hooves…which would be a bit…oh, what’s the word….crunchy? Disgusting? And what’s next--hoof and snout pizza? Beak pasta with rooster comb sauce? I thought my mom was kidding when she said people eat oxtail. I'm pretty sure there are meatier areas on an ox than the tail. Besides, look where it’s been hanging for the duration of its life. See? Standards, people. We have to have standards.

Then again, I am the most notoriously picky eater in the world—some might say that I have all of the culinary sophistication of a four-year-old and those people would be quite right. Remember when you were a kid and you said that when you grew up no one would tell you what to eat and you’d eat ice cream for breakfast, macaroni and cheese for lunch, chocolate cake for dinner and cookies all day long? Yeah….that still sounds pretty good to me. Only now I want an occasional mocha latte as well. I’m a LITTLE more sophisticated.




  • At 7:28 PM, Anonymous Marianne said…

    You'll make it just fine and just think, when Samus is finished (sooner than you think) you'll get to wear it and you'll be loving it (plus you'll get to play with the Noro).
    That was a real treat...rubber duckies floating around in the yard ponds.
    ewwwwww, pickled pigs feet.....right up there with 'head cheese' I swear that's what they call it and you can actually see the snouts! ewwwwwwww.

  • At 12:14 AM, Anonymous angie cox said…

    I hope you get onto that Noro soon .I'm not sure what you are going to make with it ? I was trying to guess what game you were talking about ,I guess football . It's been raining cats and dogs here too.Last Winter hardly a rainy day ,Friday I go out and someone up there empties several buckets of water over me.

  • At 7:48 AM, Anonymous Jill said…

    Good luck with the finishing. I just bought more Noro for me. But I can't use it until I'm done with Christmas stuff!

    I do seem to recall being in Mexico, and seeing piggie heads hanging from the ceiling. I really don't want to know what happens when they are no longer hanging from the ceiling!

  • At 9:08 AM, Blogger Charity said…

    You're so close with Samus, it will be done in no time! Then, you'll totally enjoy the Noro, with no Samus thoughts lurking in the back of your mind.

  • At 2:49 PM, Blogger Jo said…

    Missy Knitingale you-all want me to tell you what bits of pigs (and lambs and calves) they eat in the North of England? (And don't all you Northern knitters shout me down, I've SEEN the pathetic little scraps on sale on market stalls, so THERE!) Tails ain't in it, honey... Masculinity maybe, but not tails.
    Celtic Memory Yarns


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