The Life and Times of Florence Knitingale

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Definitions

Pushing One’s Luck: Attempting to load multiple pictures on blogger for no better reason than it accepted the first two without complaint.

Wide-eyed Astonishment: The look one gets when it actually works.

Lazy Holiday Weekend:



(sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words….and the lazy amongst us don’t have to type so much)

Full-On Winter Blast in the Pacific Northwest:


Denial: We are not a bunch of snow pansies up here…we’re not we’re not we’re not.

Rationalization: 1. I used up five balls of yarn, therefore I can shop for yarn for three sweaters, a pair of gloves, a purse, two scarves, and unlimited sock yarn. 2. The new knitting magazines might have the perfect, holy grail of projects that the other 743,000 magazines and pattern books in my house don’t have. 3. I made one batch out of the 10 or so batches of Christmas baking I need to do; therefore, it is now acceptable to return to my noro sweater (I have not yet started stroking it and calling it “my precious”, but I fear this is not long in coming).


The above mentioned cookies….the kind among you will fail to notice that half of one is missing. I have absolutely no idea what might have become of it.

Bald Faced Lie: See above.

Diet: Living all morning on diet pop and cookie dough in the rather bizarre hope that it will somehow make up for a veritable flock of turkey meat and assorted side dishes sucked in over the last three days.

Logic: Something for other people.

My Logic: Something terribly creative and often unfathomable to mere mortals.

Necessary: 1. A thing which is extremely important 2. Essential 3. 50 years worth of yarn and more knitting needles than Dolly Parton has silicone. (See rationalization, above)

Fortuitous: When the rain stops long enough to get to the LYS, but starts again in time to avoid actually going outside to do any yard maintenance.



The white lines in this photo (if you squint you can kind of see them) were actually snow but they turned to rain quickly enough for my nefarious purposes.


Drek: What is guaranteed to be on every single channel (no matter how many you have) the minute you sit down with knitting and cat settles himself on your lap. It is tempting to believe that only one channel will show drek if the remote is out of reach, but this has been proven to be false. It is believed that the fates like to cover their bases—in case you don’t have qualms about dumping the cat off to reach for the remote.

Many Excellent Choices: What is guaranteed to be on every single channel (no matter how many you have) the second you commit to being in the kitchen with several batches of cookies.

Cajun Style: Cookies that had the misfortune to be put in the oven when a Scrubs marathon was on.

Disdain:

Again, a thousand words from one irritated, one-eyed cat who would like to sleep in the fabric scraps undisturbed, thanks ever so much.

Human Catnip (also known as Knitternip): Any sentence involving the words “yarn” and “sale”. It is highly effective to the knitting population and is unaffected by the amount of yarn in the user’s possession.

Ass-Couch Continuum: A dangerous phenomenon for knitters the world over, but most especially for those knitting a noro sweater while it alternately rains and snows outside and the fire is blazing merrily away in the living room.

Ironing Pile: ????? (also another definition for denial)

Holiday Weekend Countdown: Reason enough to go pick up that knitting again. (Obsessed is another good word….but we’ll just let that one slip on by, shall we?)

3 Comments:

  • At 4:50 PM, Blogger Marianne said…

    Hi Prince Ed, hello Ms. Gracie, and sending loving murf to Ms. Gussie, oh, dudette, am loving the snow, just loving it and that photo with the 'lines'? outstanding! Those cookies look heavenly, er, did I somehow from how many miles away, take that half of a cookie? No, not me, the whole cookie would've been gone...just saying.

     
  • At 6:51 PM, Blogger Kate_knits_a_bit said…

    There is nothing wrong with Quality Control Procedures, in fact, it is absolutely ESSENTIAL to check that no foreign substances have ruined your baking while you weren't looking. I mean, I have to check and re-check and re-check-check the choc-fudge earthquake bikkies I made on the weekend, because I would hate for one of the kids to find a bad one -it's all to protect them against Randomly Bad Baking... >so far they've all been very good, but you never know<
    PS the colours of the Noro sweater are just gorgeous

     
  • At 12:28 AM, Anonymous angie cox said…

    I love cats and that utter disdain they have sometimes. They are the biggest dudes in the World! I nearly went mad and bought some silk yarn just because it was on sale yesterday ...then I looked at part of my stash .It was in pretty vile colours anyhow and I am planning to go mad in the yarn sales in January. Jeff will come and as he carries home at least two large bags will say what they always say "Do you really need this?" ..daft bloke ! ( Holly said that all the time at 3 after hearing it in a joke book ..the only bit she remembered ).

     

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