Housebound

The ice fairy has come to the Pacific Northwest, and she was evidently pretty ticked off about something or other. The roads are so bad that there are apparently still people trying to get home from the Seahawks game last night…..10 hours later. And my school is closed which leaves me with a whole lot of day and nowhere I have to be. Which further leads to more interesting blog posts such as “and then I knitted.” “I knitted some more.” “To be different, I knitted.” Not that I find this particularly objectionable in terms of how to spend a winter day (the knitting fairy is apparently much grander in her largesse than the ice fairy and is giving me an early Christmas gift) but I do fear that some of you may suffer serious forehead contusions from falling asleep while reading my blog and striking your heads on the keyboard. (Shame that the newer keyboards don’t have raised or indented letters like old-fashioned typewriters….that could at least make for an interesting game as you try to stamp assorted words on your forehead…..and it’s a sad thing when that would be more interesting than what’s going on at Chez Icingale).

In truth, I will probably try to do some more holiday baking today as well. Yeah, much more exciting. I baked. Then I knitted.

That said, I woke up this morning with a song in my head, as I pretty much always do, only today it was “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” (I know—the song fairy must be friends with the ice fairy and I’m on both of their lists). This made me think of my childhood when I inexplicably loved that song and sang it all through the month of December and beyond (yes, my mother does still speak to me…but it’s not a total surprise that I’m an only child). Only thing was, I had my own unique lyrics, including “Two Turtlenecks” instead of turtle doves, likely because I had absolutely no idea what a turtle dove might be (it sounded a bit like an animal husbandry experiment gone horribly wrong and I wasn’t having any part of that) whereas I saw turtlenecks nearly every day (usually while whining as my mother tugged them over my head in a continued and determined attempt to tear my ears off). It occurred to me that “Two Turtlenecks” might well belong in a knitter’s Twelve Days of Christmas and….well….you can guess where that led, no?

“On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: A tape measure shaped like a bee.
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Two turtlenecks and a tape measure shaped like a bee.
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Three crochet hooks, two turtlenecks and a tape measure shaped like a bee.
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Four balls of Noro, three crochet hooks, two turtlenecks and a tape measure shaped like a bee.
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Five pounds of fudge. (note: I realize that this isn’t strictly speaking a knitting item….but if you’ve ever had to pick apart 10 rows of intricate lace without a lifeline, then you know that chocolate is an essential part of any good knitting bag.) Four balls of Noro, three crochet hooks, two turtlenecks, and a tape measure shaped like a bee.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Six Addis Turbos, five pounds of fudge. Four balls of Noro, three crochet hooks, two turtlenecks, and a tape measure shaped like a bee.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Seven skeins of cashmere, six addis turbos, five pounds of fudge. Four balls of Noro, three crochet hooks, two turtlenecks and a tape measure shaped like a bee.
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Eight brand new patterns, seven skeins of cashmere, six addis turbos, five pounds of fudge. Four balls of Noro, three crochet hooks, two turtle necks and a tape measure shaped like a bee.
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Nine husbands cooking (also helpful to knitters, I think), eight brand new patterns, seven skeins of cashmere, six addis turbos, five pounds of fudge. Four balls of Noro, three crochet hooks, two turtlenecks and a tape measure shaped like a bee.
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Ten maids a-cleaning, nine husbands cooking, eight brand new patterns, seven skeins of cashmere, six addis turbos, five pounds of fudge. Four balls of Noro, three crochet hooks, two turtlenecks and a tape measure shaped like a bee.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Eleven books on knitting, ten maids a-cleaning, nine husbands cooking, eight brand new patterns, seven skeins of cashmere, six addis turbos, five pounds of fudge. Four balls of Noro, three crochet hooks, two turtlenecks, and a tape measure shaped like a bee.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Twelve tins of hand balm, eleven books on knitting, ten maids a-cleaning, nine husbands cooking, eight brand new patterns, seven skeins of cashmere, six addis turbos, five pounds of fudge. Four balls of Noro, three crochet hooks, two turtlenecks, and a tape measure shaped like a bee.”

The really bad part? Not only does it fit the tune with only slight torturing of the meter, now after typing the whole thing out, I have it MEMORIZED. Yep. Now the knitter’s version is stuck in my head. Some people get songs stuck in their heads…I get imaginary songs stuck in my head. There must be a support group for this.