Two Elephants for a Quarter....

....and other bits of wisdom. Completely free. How often do you see a deal like that? And yeah, it's probably good to remember that you generally get what you pay for.

Someone once told me that two elephants for a quarter is a good deal...as long as you have a quarter, and you need two elephants. Without those things, it's really just an outstanding debt and a backyard full of elephant poo.

I thought about this the other day, because I think that auction websites rely on the fact that people forget this truisim, and that people like me might even go one further and not only buy the elephant, but also the lot of 8 gently used wombats for sale by the same seller who will combine shipping on multiple wins. It's not pretty. And yes, I did get sucked in to buying three scrub tops with different cow patterns on them....because my backyard needs fertilizing, and I got a good rate on a loan of a quarter. Clearly, I need to start frequenting websites where nothing is for sale. (It was a good deal though...and it was cows! What could I do?)

By the way, why do they call it "winning" an auction? Personally, I'm not sure it really goes in the "win" column when you find yourself willing to pay more for an item than anyone else thinks it's worth. Just a thought.

Some other bits of wisdom I've accumulated over the years:

Cats are pointy on one end. Even if your eyeballs might fly out, it's best to hold in a sneeze when such a pointy thing is sleeping on your lap. Especially a nervous pointy thing.

Knitting a hard pattern that looks easy is like wetting yourself in a dark suit: it gives you a nice warm feeling, but no one really notices.

Never attempt to brush the crumbs off a freshly baked cake when mad at your child. My mother dumped an entire sheet cake into a sink full of soapy dishwater that way. It didn't help her mood much.

If you see a recipe called "Tuna Timbales", but you accidentally misread it as "Tuna Timebombs", it's probably best to just bail out then and there and accept that you will ALWAYS call it that whether you want to or not. And you really don't want to serve them to dinner guests. Not unless you have a burning desire to see how fast they can vacate your home.

When the bride to be looks like Malibu Barbie might have looked when she was younger and can talk for hours about the wedding plans but stumbles briefly over the groom's name, it might not be wise to bet on the longevity of the match. But, apparently, a derisive snort is not socially acceptable, either. What to do?

Have you ever really looked at a bag of mothballs? Man, can you imagine how big the moth must be?

If you ever have an unfortunate accident or disease and have to lose half of your brain, you can probably get a very high-up position working in customer service for a health insurance company. I think they pay you extra if you can make doctor's office staff whimper. I'm personally responsible for the awarding of several such bonuses.

There's more, but a person can only absorb so much wisdom at one time. I do, however, have photos for you. First, the chair fight:

The back and tush are mine and, in the name of maturity, I feel compelled to point out that I was in the chair FIRST. I was sewing. Miss was...well, whatever it is that she does besides waddle.

She did try to make the best of the situation.

But ultimately sought out nicer....

...and still nicer accommodations.

There has been some knitting going on, largely because I'm not smart enough yet to realize that the person with the bee allergy probably shouldn't sit in front of the rhododendron bushes at work and knit during lunch. You see what I mean about getting what you pay for, wisdom-wise.

Knit on...and be sure to drop by and share some wisdom of your own. Clearly, I can use it.