The Life and Times of Florence Knitingale

Saturday, September 22, 2007

My Mother-in -Law is a Superhero...

.......and other truths I've discovered recently.

Okay, so I haven't seen her exiting a phone booth in a pair of tights--but, then again, I haven't seen a full-length phone booth that closes up in at least 10 years and I'm pretty sure you could get arrested for changing into tights in one of those little half-booth things (especially given that it's the top half that's covered). I don't think she has a significant other who always manages to get kidnapped, an alter ego who looks precisely the same only with glasses, and I've never seen her flying over a city in underwear and a cape (which is probably just as well...I think that sort of behavior would concern me).

But there's this:

11 more squares she's whipped out. Remember the 21 she sent before that I showed you a picture of? That's not all of them, either. She sent another dozen or so prior to THAT. I should point out here that she also has a job--she's a nurse. See what I mean? A superhero for certain. If you get to Kansas and want to meet someone spectacular who will remind you of the innate goodness of the human spirit, just look for the woman with the flashing crochet hook (and not the flashing tights, cape, and/or underwear--she's not only pretty wonderful, she also has WAY better taste than that). Judy, I thank you yet again.

The same post brought these from Vivian in Greater Yarborough (am I the only one who sees that and wonders if there's a "Not so bad Yarborough" somewhere in England....?)

They are beautiful and soft and will make some families very happy. Look what else she sent--for one of YOU:

It's Colinette and I photographed it repeatedly to no avail--it still looks mud colored and I swear that it isn't. It's actually a lovely mix of muted greens that just about made me drool. Made in Wales, it made Vivian think of the mining towns there which she thought made it perfect. Vivian, I couldn't agree more. Thank you so very much.

Want to know what you all have accomplished so far?

110 squares.

No, really. I'm not joking. 110 (Lynn, I'm counting your big one as 4 because it takes the place of 4.). I counted twice because I couldn't believe we did that much that quickly. 70 more and we'll have all six blankets. I'll be putting as much together this weekend as I can and hope to have at least one completed blanket to show you by the end of it. If I ever again doubt that there is great goodness, great kindness, great love in the world, I need only look to you. I'll also be drawing a name or two this weekend for prizes. I'm thinking a skein of Koigu for one, a batch of something yummy for another. Stay tuned.

Other things (somewhat less lofty) that I've learned recently:

  • Using one's bare hand to entice the cat to play right before work (i.e., becoming a human cat toy) can lead to blood loss

  • One-eyed cats are faster than you might think

  • More precise, too

  • Also pointy on one end

  • Once at work, a finger with a deep scratch running alongside the nail and on down the inside of the pinky finger does not go well with the task of filling up the methyl alcohol burner from a huge and easily spilled jug

  • Jumping up and down while waving one hand frantically as though attempting to fly one-armed makes people look at you funny

  • I am not as bright as I look

  • The good people at WEBS have hatched a sinister plot to torment me. Given that I have not really seen many patterns that have completely charmed me for awhile, and given that I am now using any and all knitting time on the blankets and will be for awhile and so don't WANT to be charmed by any patterns, there can be no other explanation for the sweater that appears on the WEBS homepage (you'll see it if you click the above link--it's the brown sweater with the patterned sleeves) AND in the catalog viciously delivered to my home. This innocent looking sweater is now absolutely demanding to be allowed into my project queue.

  • The aforementioned evil sweater would also like to jump the queue and is attempting to convince me that I could start it before I finish anything else, it knows I'll get back to the other things, and really, wouldn't I love to wear it this winter? Ratbastard sweater.

  • There are catalogues that appear normal but are nevertheless somehow "sticky" and steadfastly refuse to be tossed into the recycle bin.

  • Just when you think you've seen everything, you can depend on someone to do something like come into the clinic concerned about the fact that when he goes into the sun or gets under a blanket.....he gets warm. People, I could not make this up if I tried.

  • There is something inexplicably charming about a 6-year-old girl with a lisp asking politely if we can test her for an allergy "to deerth and racoonth". I adore this child.

  • Drinking a full can of diet cream soda immediately before getting into the car to drive home in Friday traffic (I live only 12 minutes from work when there's no traffic...about a week and a half from work on Friday nights) can lead to wild thoughts about whether or not is is possible for a female to pee in a soda can. (Don't worry, I didn't try it. But it's amazing how reasonable it started to seem)

  • My top land speed record for the distance from car to bathroom once home is about .00007 seconds, assuming the way is clear of cats

  • Cats dislike being bowled over by a woman with a full bladder and a strange hopping gait

  • I am, again, not all that bright

I leave you with yet another rose picture, just because they're so darned pretty. I'm off to exercise and then start joining all those works of the heart. So many wonderful, huge hearts.


  • At 7:38 AM, Blogger Vivienne said…

    It's Yarmouth not Yarborough (sorry - I have truly appalling handwriting, not helped by using a fountain pen). There is another Yarmouth in England actually, but very few people have heard of it, because it's a tiny little village miles away from its larger namesake.

    And I know all about trying to photograph greens - my current sweater in progress is a beautiful mossy bronzy green, and I cannot get a sensible photograph of it for the blog. It either looks blueish or like sludge, neither of which it is.

  • At 8:30 AM, Blogger ~Tonia~ said…

    Wow she is a super hero as are you.

    Do you need any more help in making squares? I would be more than happy to help.

  • At 9:30 AM, Blogger Ms. Knitingale said…

    Oh, Vivienne--I misspelled your name AND your city! And after you sent such beautiful squares. I apologize deeply and I shall immediately go lash myself with a wet noodle on your behalf (strange American expression...don't try to make it make sense). And Tonia, if you want to make more squares, I'd take 'em. You're pretty awesome yourself.

  • At 9:59 AM, Blogger Vivienne said…

    Don't worry about it, I never expect my name to be spelt right - there's at least 6 ways I can think of, and mine is about the least common. Until I was 10 or 11 I was just "Vivi" because I couldn't reliably spell the whole thing myself.

  • At 12:54 PM, Anonymous Em said…

    I'm quite tickled by the idea of testing vs. "deerth and raccoonth", but and slightly mad at you for pointing me down the road of temptation (oh! those sleeves!).

  • At 6:07 AM, Anonymous MonicaPDX said…

    (Catching up after OFFF, because I was diverted from regular reading/commenting by prepping for OFFF, recovering from OFFF, blogging about OFFF. Not quite done yet. Missed you! Next year, 'kay?)

    "Pointy on one end." Oh dear. Sorry, hon, but in your inimitable way, you had me laughing. Sympathetically, while wincing, but laughing. And Judy is indeed a powerhouse!

    And speaking of superheroes, did you know there's a 'translator' page that, in addition to translating a page into pirate-speak, Goth-speak, etc., also includes...Superhero-speak? You might want to ask Judy about it. ;)


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