Guess Who Won?

I had some time to kill before Knit for Life last night, so I decided to do a little window shopping. And, as everyone with a child--either inner or outer--knows, "window shopping" refers to the art of wandering around a store pretending that you aren't going to buy anything, and then your child harasses you until you do and you pretend it was a well-thought out decision. That's what it means in my world, in any case. (It may be for the best that I don't have any flesh and blood children.)

While I was window shopping, I just happened to end up in the handbag section, where there just happened to be a sale on (this time it was JC Penney--I think the stores are conspiring against me...I'm sure the fact that it was Labor Day and every store in the country was having a sale was mere coincidence). The conversation went sort of like this:

Mature, outer adult me: "Aren't they lovely? Now, we're just looking. We really don't need a bag right now."

Spoiled brat inner child: "Yes, I do. I NEED a bag. I REALLY REALLY need one! One of these!!"

Me: "Oh, dear. Not that one. That's much too loud and garish. Besides, you have a perfectly good bag."

Inner brat: "I don't LIKE my bag. It's icky. I want this pretty one."

Me: "It most certainly is not icky, and you liked it just fine before. But okay. We can consider a new purse. But let's start with these lovely, classic bags over here."

Inner brat: "Don't WANT a classic bag. I want THIS ONE!!"

Me: "Shhhh! Stop wailing like that! That's no way to get what you want! And I'm sorry, but young ladies do not carry handbags made of red, faux crocodile. It's cheap and tacky. Here, try this lovely chocolate leather bag. It has lots of pockets and a sensible shoulder strap."

Inner brat: "I HATE that leather purse! And it's not chocolate--chocolate is good. I want this one. Don't care what young ladies do. I want it!"

Me: (somewhat desperately) "Look, it's not at all what a mature woman would carry! It's....it's...RED, for heaven's sake! Okay, I'll tell you what. If you really must have red, how about this lovely leather satchel in a sort of burgandy. It's kind of red."

Inner brat: "IT IS NOT!!!! It's NOT red and I don't like it and you're icky and I hate you!! I want the red purse!"

Me: "But a red purse won't go with anything! And it's not even very big. Where will you put everything? For pete's sake--put it down!"

Inner Brat: "I WON'T put it down. IWON'TIWON'TIWON'T!!! And you can't make me!!"

Me: (now attempting to wrestle the purse from her grasping little hands) "But look--it's not even real anything. Feel how nice and soft the real leather purses are."

Inner Brat: "Don't care. Don't want the icky old leather."

Me: "Well...but I'll bet it's ridiculously expensive, and I won't pay that kind of money for dead urethane hide, do you hear me?"

Inner Brat: "It's on sale. It's 50% off. Look how smooth and shiny it is. Here, just kind of pet it."

Me: ".......oh, man. I hate you. I really hate you."

Inner Brat: "I get the purse, though--right?"


Which is how I came to be the owner of this completely fabulous and probably horrid red faux croc handbag, which I love even as I hate myself for loving it. For the record, I'm not at all sure whether I wanted a red, faux croc handbag, or just wanted to be the sort of woman who would carry a red, faux croc handbag and get away with it. Luckily, I'm now equipped to experiment and find out. (the photo makes it look kind of brown..it's not. It's really very red.)

By the way, anyone willing to let my inner child vacation at their house? Just for a couple of weeks? I fear it's the only way I'll get to purchase anything that wouldn't attract a magpie from 16 miles away in a heavy storm. All I can say is, thank all that's wool that the little snot hasn't discovered shoes.

In happier news, look what the mail brought me from Peggy in Georgia, Karen in Utah, and someone else in Utah who didn't give her name (but who has my eternal thanks just the same):

I'm so delighted with all of them. And look what else came, this from Jean in Cornwall:

It says "knit on with compassion and hope, through all chaos", and she sent it because she thought it summed us all up nicely. Well said, Jean. You are absolutely right. I'm off to knit on. And feel the love and compassion and hope of all of you as I do.