The Life and Times of Florence Knitingale

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Ms. Knitingale, Revealed

Hmmm….that might not have sounded quite right….

What I meant to say is that I got Mr. K to take some pics of me in the Bianca, now that it’s finished. I ended up not using buttons, but crocheting some ties and threading beads on the ends, and I absolutely love the look:

(Sorry about the boob close-up there.) I made him get a picture of the sleeves, too:

And the whole thing together, complete with a very non-photogenic Ms. Knitingale:

Naturally I only noticed now that the sweater was on slightly crooked for the whole photo shoot. It really does hang correctly when I'm paying attention and put it on right. The observant among you will notice that I freed my arm from its bondage for the occasion; be assured that I put it all right back on afterwards. I’m being good or, as my father used to say, I’m be-ing-have. (Said like “behave” with an “ing” in the middle).

Speaking of my elbow, I’ve been a bit chagrined to note that it draws a fair amount of attention when I’m in public. People are so sweet and interested, and I so appreciate their concern…but it’s such a non interesting answer:

Concerned person: “Oh, dear—what did you do to your arm?”
Me: “Oh, I have tendonitis off and on and I knit and I was making this jacket with a yoke and it was really heavy once it was all on the needles and……”

See? Not one bit interesting. So I prevailed upon Mr. K to help me come up with some more interesting responses.

Concerned person: “Oh dear—what did you do to your arm?”

“It’s that damned bullriding scholarship.”
“Three words: full contact Clue. Col. Mustard got in a lucky swing in the library with the candlestick, the bastard.”
“I got caught flipping off other motorists so now my arm is in time-out.”
“Did you ever start winding yarn with your ball winder….and just forget to stop?”
“Well, you know about the national arm wrestling championships? Yeah, training accident.”
“I can never remember—is it ‘turn off mixer and THEN taste the cookie dough,’ or…..”
“I was chasing the road runner and I had these rocket skates from ACME, and…..”
“Hey, those hangnails can be really painful.”
“No one said to let GO of the bowling ball.”
“What did I do to what? GAAH!! How did THAT get there??!!”
“Alien abduction. Apparently they don’t have arms where they come from and mine is a prime specimen.”
“I saw some new yarn and it cost an arm and a leg….and I was really tempted.”
“Nothing….I just like to keep it in the original packaging when I’m not using it.”
“My secret life as a superhero has some down sides.”
“Remember that giant spider that I was sure was going to grab Hubby by the arm and swing him around and toss him into the dining room? It had a bigger, tougher brother.”
“Someone reminded me that George Bush can’t get elected again. I think it was the 7th or 8th handspring that did it.”
“I’m in a remake of Peter Pan, only they ran out of hooks.”
“Sorry, I can’t say—the first rule is Never Talk About Fight Club.”
“There’s a shoe sale at Nordstroms coming up, and I want to be sure my elbow is really well rested for shoving my way through the crowd.”
“I told you the nursing school competition was getting fierce. Now we have to wrestle for it.”
“Shhh….it’s a national security thing. You understand.”
“Think twice before water skiing with 12 squirrels and a monkey. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Someone buttered my trapeze.”
“I’m thinking of a career in politics, so I’ve been shaking hands with 200 people every day to get in shape for it.”
“These older bionic arms are a little obvious, aren’t they?”
“I’m going to be in a parade, and I figured if I made my arm into a drumstick, well, that’s one less thing to carry.”
“Repetitive motion injury. I’m just so darned smart that I raise my hand in class constantly.”
“I think this arm is less attractive than the other one, so I cover it up as much as possible.”
“Nothing, it’s just shy.”
“I guess they call it bungee jumping because you’re supposed to use a bungee. Who knew?”
“Chunky bracelets are back for fall.”
“Never take a greyhound for a walk near a rabbit farm.”
“I just love things made with Velcro…..if only I could find a whole outfit made of it.”
“What—it doesn’t look like the fingerless glove pattern from Knitty? I followed the directions and everything…..”

I’m off to study for an A & P test today. At least I’ll get any elbow questions right, wouldn’t you think?


  • At 1:10 PM, Anonymous Marianne said…

    Can you hear me whistling? Ms.K, that is one gorgeous sweater and I DO love the ties, and I really must say it looks stunning on you (you know, if you were within arm's reach I just might would need to...oh, I don't know, I'm referring to your remarks about the counterclerk guy giving you a compliment and you calling yourself a broken down middle aged woman, so I don't know, a bit of a bitchslap?) Truly, I'm just kidding. You are a lovely lass, just saying.
    I especially liked the many handsprings over Bush not being able to run...and 'time-out',actually I liked them all but the very best... 'How did THAT get there?!?!?' oh yeah.

  • At 2:00 PM, Blogger Charity said…

    Beautiful sweater, you look completely lovely :0)


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