The Life and Times of Florence Knitingale

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

If I Was a Horse They'd Shoot Me

Seriously, you guys--how lame is this??? (wallowing in a pit of lameness, is the correct answer here)

Yes, I finally ventured out to the doc’s office to ask about my pain-in-the-ass elbow (apparently STILL don’t know my ass from my elbow) which, astoundingly enough, is not actually fine. Who could have seen that coming? I do, of course, have tendonitis again and it is affecting both tendons going up either side of my elbow. She’s agreed to wait on the whole physical therapy thing, if I wear the tennis elbow band and the wrist brace and rest and ice and yada yada yada. Somewhat concerned, I commented that this did not bode well for my knitting. At which point, she whipped around, raised one eyebrow, and said “Gee, we may have the reason for the flare-up, you think?” (Nobody likes a smartass, Doc….)

But see, I have a thought. (Quit laughing—you haven’t even heard it yet.) See, I just finished Bianca which was quite heavy on the needles and I’m sure that’s what got my elbow all mad. Yesterday, however, I started knitting on the band for the Samus cardigan and look how pretty it is:

It’s also small and light and soft and I’m sure harbors no ill will towards my poor, beleaguered elbow and—I said quit laughing! I know I’m swimming so far in that damned Egyptian river that I have my own cadre of crocodiles following me around. But I don’t think I can manage not knitting at all. Maybe just little bits….after icing……just little, light things. Yeah, that’s it. (Oh, look—I see pyramids, too….)

I also happened to ask her about my neck which is arthritic with bulging disks and other goodies and which is also flaring up just lately. You know it’s a bad sign when your doctor is feeling something on your body and says “Oh, wow…..that’s really……wow that’s REALLY…..oh, my, it goes all the way down here….man…..” I feel so encouraged. Still, could be worse. I had a doctor a few years ago feel my neck and comment “Man, that feels nasty.” (Oh, yeah? Well, I’m not wild about your tie, either, but you don’t hear me complaining.) Like I said, if I was a horse……

However, in the “I’ve still got it” department, I went to the grocery store after my doctor’s visit and was checking out. The cashier, an older man, asked me if I had found everything I wanted. Because I’m a whacknut, and because I persist in thinking that I’m much funnier than I actually probably am, I replied “No, I never did find the aisle with the wealth, fame, and beauty.” He immediately said that I had found the beauty, never fear, and I felt kind of dorky because it probably seemed like I was fishing for compliments which I truly wasn’t—really just trying to be funny. But then, as I was gathering up my groceries, he suddenly placed on hand on my wrist and said “Seriously. If you walked past me on the street, I’d have to turn around for another look.” Which brightened my day and really isn’t too bad for a broken-down, middle aged broad.

By the way, have you guys seen this stuff? The lovely Marti at weebug knits shared some with me last night and I’m in love with it. I used it to keep track of what row I was on while working the saxon braid for Samus last night (32 rows per repeat, all similar—I was desperate) and it was a godsend. You can keep taking it off and sticking it back down on the next row. I believe I would have a goodly percentage more hair now than I do if I had found this stuff before I started a lacy shawl, you know?

Oh, and on the subject of Samus, I actually started it yesterday between classes, sitting in the student lounge (I was all caught up on homework) and I’m still laughing at all the young, oh-so-cool guys who came in to slouch on the chairs listening to their IPODS but kept sneaking peeks in my direction, watching my hands with thinly disguised interest! Too funny. It was like they wanted to ask….but just couldn’t. No problem. I’ll keep on doing it and I’ll bet someone will ask eventually. That’s my mission, you know: to convert the world to my wooly ways, one innocent at a time.


  • At 12:53 PM, Anonymous Marianne said…

    Aye, sweet lass, I'm with you on that heavy old Bianca, bringing on the nasties with the arse, er oops, ELBOW. And....have you had your wee needles in your hands today? I know, silly question. but still. must'nt have a 'ruint' elbow for all your future knittin'.
    I don't think the clerk dude took your bit of wit for fishing...he honestly was just smitten with your beauty, silly woman, ya know, you shouldn't be so harsh with your looks, because? you don't look to be a 'broken down, middle aged' woman. ack.
    So what is that lovely yarn you're using for Samus?
    I hope you're a really, really good swimmer, that river could just be getting longer and longer...just saying.
    Oh! and I *have* seen that stuff, some woman had some but I've not been able to find any on my own...I just use post-its, but still have my eye out for the neon stuff.

  • At 6:08 PM, Blogger Jo said…

    Love the Samus, in which book do I find that? And you can't possibly get better by doing NO knitting. That would bring on all kinds of traumatic side effects immediately. No, knit lightly on nice happy things and you'll be fine in no time.
    Celtic Memory Yarns

  • At 6:11 PM, Blogger Faren said…

    Oh, that is too bad! I hope your elbow gets better soon. Try to be careful with your knitting, til it gets better. It would be hard to behave though. I wonder if an office store would have the highlighter tape...I might have to hunt some down.


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