The Life and Times of Florence Knitingale

Monday, September 18, 2006

Did someone call for an ark?

This:





Is the weather.

And I am under it just a bit today, which means my mind has time to go all kinds of very weird places. For instance, bunnies. See, I have a favorite sweater to wear when I don’t feel well, a particularly warm and cozy angora blend that feels like I imagine wrapping myself in a cloud might feel. (And yes, all you budding meteorologists out there, I know that clouds are actually cold and wet….but it’s a fantasy. Work with me.)




I didn’t make it, although I certainly wish I had because I also think it’s quite lovely and the sort of thing I’d like to be able to casually say “What, this old thing? Oh, I made it EONS ago” about. But I did not, and I am reduced now to lying pitifully on the couch thinking odd things like “Angora bunnies must be really warm and comfy all the time….I should see about coming back as an Angora bunny in my next life…then I could feel like this all the time….of course, I’d probably have to sit and pet myself all day, and that’s a disturbing image no matter how you slice it….then again, maybe I’d be so used to it that it wouldn’t even be cool anymore….maybe what would REALLY shake my tail would be petting people……and then, of course, I’d probably be considered a really weird bunny…..” And so it goes.

I also wonder a lot about that guy who e-mails me every day to ask if I'd like a bigger penis...it's a strange world we live in. I mean, is he going to mail me one? And what am I going to do with it? Yeah...probably knit it a cozy or something.

I also got to thinking about Crazy Aunt Purl, and her post about how knitters should rule the world. Because I have the time, and I’m just loopy enough to have all kinds of weird ideas. Like, would sheep become the national animal? And would a quarter, instead of having an eagle clutching an olive branch (or whatever branch it is), have a sheep clutching a pair of knitting needles? Or would currency go by the wayside, to be replaced by yarn? Just picture it: “Honey, I’m going shopping. Can you grab me about 6 balls of Noro, a couple of cashmerino, and 3 balls of that laceweight? I’m hoping for a couple of sock yarns in change.” or "I need change for this mohair....just give me two lambswool and a shetland." Or maybe “Did you see that cheap bastard? He ordered a 10-cashmere meal WITH dessert and only left me this ball of variegated acrylic as a tip!”

Oh, and congress would just be a couple of big knitting groups, wouldn’t they? “The speaker recognizes the senator from Missouri—and also the remarkable progress he’s made on that lacy shawl.” A large yarn stash would just be good citizenship. The White House Lawn would be penned off to hold Alpaca and cashmere goats. If countries had issues to solve, why the leaders could get together to knit and discuss things. Face it—have you ever known a knitter who wouldn’t have the problem solved and be comparing stitch patterns in less than an hour? Oh, and the colorways in Noro and other yummy yarns would be breaking news stories. I’m liking this better all the time.

Okay, yes. I’m a bit loopy and getting silly, I admit it. But I will say, in all seriousness, that I’ve never seen a group of people more giving, more accepting, more caring than knitters. I can’t see us ever turning our backs on a need, or allowing intolerance or bigotry of any kind. Honestly, guys, I can’t see how we can make the world any worse off.

Oh, and hey. We can get rid of that “red state” and “blue state” stuff. We’ll all just be knitting states. Although, I could get my mind around the idea of being an “alpaca state”.

Yeah, I know. Time to go lay on the couch for awhile before I get fitted for a coat with really, really long snuggly sleeves……

.

4 Comments:

  • At 8:20 PM, Anonymous Jill said…

    If knitters ruled the world:

    -there would be less fighting
    -calmer souls
    -bigger stashes
    and much much happier people

     
  • At 5:09 AM, Anonymous Marianne said…

    With all the craziness going on in the world, right now, well, has been for quite some time...I've been thinking the same thing...what if all the people in the world developed a bit of an obsession with yarn, knitting, creative handwork...what does it take to change one's heart and mind,..... There's a theory out there...had to do with chipanzees, over a large area and learning new skills and the changes that came about because of that, and they found that when 100 chimps in one area learned 'a thing' then chimps all over just started doing the same thing....'100 chimpanzees' so how many humans does it take? and I've certainly spent more time than I care to admit on the whole thing...

     
  • At 7:13 AM, Anonymous marti said…

    Beautiful sweater, I think that we should take our collective minds (whatever is left of mine at the end of mondays) and write up the pattern. I think it is definitely something I would wear. We missed you at knit for life last night. feel better soon!

     
  • At 1:24 PM, Anonymous Childe said…

    Aaah - a Master Planner.

    The organization known as Knitters Working for Intra-World Domination (KWID)can use someone with that talent.

    Details of our next meeting to follow.

     

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